DISCLAIMER: I’m posting this poolside from my phone, and apologize (sorta) for any errors.
You asked and I delivered. These aren’t my words–those will come early next week–but I couldn’t resist sharing these notes from Deborah O’connor, one of the best astrologers (and humans) I’ve ever met.
The full moon is in Scorpio tonight (my moon is in Scorpio, so ) and Deborah’s notes describe EXACTLY how life feels right now.
All the awakened ones,
like trusted midwives,
are saying, welcome this pain,
it opens the dark passage of Grace.
Eclipsed Full Moon @ 5 degrees Scorpio
2:56 PM MDT
Thursday, April 25
We are asked to turn toward our fear of loss, to enter right into its epicenter.
What would happen if you were to look 180 degrees away from where you think your power lies and instead turn your attention to what lays you bare, makes you the most vulnerable, exposes you to your fear of losing everything . . . and what might you find on the other side of loss?
Please stop to consider this question for a moment: what might you find on the other side of loss?
Today’s eclipsed Scorpio moon has no interest in polite conversation over tea. It’s focus is on truth–not half-truth, not wistful yearning, nor worry over what might have been, nor hope for what might still be. This is energy which demands we pay attention to issues which have seemed too emotionally charged to haul out into the light of day and work through. So it invites us into the heart of our darkness, that we might find the courage to stay put long enough to tell ourselves the edgy truth.
You will probably feel this deep probing most intensely in your relationships. Scorpio wants us to be honest with ourselves about the things which undermine our integrity. It doesn’t miss the little lies we tell ourselves to make it through the days and nights.
You may find the courage to stay in your center with someone who continues to dodge their own demons by throwing their insanity at you. Or you may notice some line in the story you tell yourself about your life which is a half-truth you’ve composed to keep at bay your longing for a different script. We tell ourselves all sorts of little lies to ward off the reality of what is true. Today’s moon asks you to listen again to your version of your story–to discover something which you’ve been a little too afraid to notice before.
Sometimes we bury the real truth because we fear abandonment or abuse. Sometimes it’s shame which keeps us from exposing ourselves to the truth. But the intent of this moon isn’t to lead you into the heart of darkness and abandon you there, but to take you by the hand and hold you close while you acknowledge where you have been dodging away from the real story so that as you find the courage to face this inner knowing, you can free yourself from its power.
If you’ve ever been dragged down into deep water, you know the sensation of drowning, of struggling against the current until you either remember that you are helpless in the grip of this overwhelming tide, or until you wear yourself out so completely that you finally just give up . . . in any case, once you surrender to the power of the thing which is pulling you under, you find that you pop back up to the surface. But you are never the same after an experience like that because you came very close to the edge of life. And in that encounter a deep shift occurs which makes each day so sacred that anything which doesn’t serve the nobility of the heart is cast away.
Today’s moon will ask you to dive into the caverns of your psyche, to rescue awareness which you’ve dodged because you fear that in truthfully engaging with it, you might have to encounter loss from which you don’t think you’d recover.
The truth is that we will all continue to encounter bone-rattling loss, and death. But through these experiences we are led into the very heart of compassion and empathy. This is the hard scrabble of the human experience, but in staying with it we grow more and more real. Grace is never achieved through easy sailing. It’s arrived at through the gritty, untidy, razor edges of our lives.
I don’t want to paint Scorpio energy as something dark; it leads us into our own shadow and then helps us transform what we are afraid of into something we can use. It is just as apt to bring you into the realm of the magical as it is to help you release yourself from old emotional baggage. Usually these experiences occur hand-in-hand. This moon thrives on ritual, and is nourished by attention to all the realms, visible and invisible. It offers so much to us through dream time and allows for remarkable communion with the unseen world.
One of my dear friends awoke last night to a barn owl in her window. This owl was as real as she is, and there it was . . . a soft white presence radiant in the dark of night . . . a creature whose life depends upon balancing the equation of life and death, loss and flight. This ancient luminous creature of the night entered into her dreams and made it clear that we really have no idea where we are in time and space. This visitation is the perfect symbol for today’s Scorpio moon as it reminds us to keep all of our senses open to encounters which make no sense to the logical mind but which reassure us that our brave emotional work is noticed by that which is beyond our comprehension.
If all that is unfolding right now makes you feel vulnerable and exposed, please know there is a tremendous amount of compassion moving through this energy field. Probably the easiest way to access it is to accept what is happening, accept what has already happened . . . there is nothing which takes more courage than this. It is an act of absolute faith in the Unknown. This isn’t something everyone can manage. But you can. Close your eyes and breathe.
Let Deborah know if you’d like to look more deeply into your own life by having your chart and current transits.
Friends: You won’t be disappointed. Deborah is salt of the earth and the real deal. Her skill and insight are palpable
Her contact info: Deborah O’Connor